Food for too much thought

Like most, I enjoy the barbecue season, and I don’t just mean guarding the grill, beer in hand, tong armed and comedy apron attired. I mean the whole process, food preparation, marinades, sauces, salads, cooking, alfresco dining etc. As a mild pyromaniac, I was introduced to the barbecue at a fairly early age, perhaps as a vain attempt to channel my fire obsession, but more likely as a cleverly disguised chore. In those days our cooking device was little more than a stack of un-mortared bricks and a wire grill rack, but I used to revel in the process of getting the temperature/coals just right to ensure that my mum’s Indonesian recipe skewers (more on those in a future post) were cooked to perfection, and I rarely failed.

My preference of the charcoal device was continued until we were very kindly presented with a gas variety as a wedding gift.

“Wow, thanks!” I hope my feigned elation was convincing.

Wheeled out for its cooking debut, the home prepared lamb and chicken kebabs were left to grill gently under the closed lid after the very idle push button start.

“Well that was easy and equally tasty.” I remarked in pleasant surprise.

So my lifelong enjoyment of the charcoal barbecue process now filed under ‘too time consuming’ I quickly adopted the convenience of gas all too readily.

Now years later, arguably time richer and a nostalgic father reminiscing about how simple and great things were in my day, I’m back in the market for a charcoal variety. ‘MG!’ (They’re abbreviating acronyms now, keep up) I exclaim as I’m totally side tracked in my quest, the barbecue market is flooded with so many different varieties, it’s completely overwhelming. Come on, how important is it to know the exact cooking temperature on one of these things, I’m not making a soufflé! Did you know there are modular kitchen type ranges on the market? Now, in other countries where rain is scarce and blue sky commonplace I can just about envisage their desirability, but here in the UK the last thing we need is a large stainless steel construction similar to the Starship Enterprise control deck collecting puddles on its gleaming surfaces for 350 days of the year. Not to mention the ugliness obscuring the view of your beautifully landscaped gardens.

It seems that this industry, in its successful attempt to attract a more varied customer base has adopted a strategy similar to the car industry.

“I just want to get from A to B, efficiently, reliably and stylishly (sorry for my vanity, but it’s my marketing weak spot).”

“Yeah, but you’re forgetting the headlights that simultaneously and automatically turn round corners.”

Silly me, of course, what a complete oversight?!

As you can probably tell, I’m not the type to be seduced or rushed into adopting the latest gadget or widget. In fact when it comes to cars, I even argue against the necessity of certain ‘improved’ electrical components. What was wrong with pull and slide seats, or even and to a lesser agreeing audience, wind down windows?

A little digression there; so back to the barbecue and all I’m really looking for is a device to suspend food above heat and therefore my very undemanding must have features simply include:

• Family sized grill – I need to grill more than one chop at a time.
• Height adjustable grill – I’m not sure this is entirely essential, but I feel happier with having the option.
• Easy use lid – One important thing I have learnt since my early grilling days is that in order to retain moist barbecue fare you must cook under a closed lid, and there’s nothing more frustrating (in a barbecue situation, obviously) than finding a suitable resting place for a scorching hot lid whilst checking cooking progress.
• Excellent build quality - I’m looking for a perennial not an annual.

Following these requirements, my research leads me to the kettle shaped variety and both Napoleon and Weber offer models that exactly meet my needs. There is very little difference between them, so it’s all a matter of personnel taste. For what it worth, I choose the Weber, swayed by a combination of price, guarantee and personal recommendation.

If you are keen to barbecue at every opportunity then I would suggest investing in both varieties; gas for the spontaneous or quick occasions and charcoal for when you want to indulge yourself in the traditional process. But always as with most things in life keep the equipment simple, good food is mostly about preparation, an overpriced appliance will never improve flavour. So when you next invited to a barbecue and you are greeted with a £1,000+ appliance, prepare for a culinary disappointment, it is more likely than not, to be the ‘all the gear, no idea’ scenario.